Ten Reasons

Ten reasons why I can’t seem to get you out of my head…



in ninth grade, we somehow wound up

sitting beside one another in math class

from the second you turned to face me

asking for my name

I realized that you were like the star that I’ve always yearned to catch


Back then, I used to think that someday I would be able to reach you

but the thing was

I couldn’t and still can’t

because the distance between you and me stretched out

much greater than the distance between our seats

and the brightness that radiated off of you

did nothing

apart from make you seem so much closer than you really were



you hated attention

because it always put you on the spot

I find that funny because nowadays

everyone yearned for attention

the same way my poems yearned to be left unwritten

and tectonic plates yearned

to drop my grade

in the same fashion as an oceanic plate

when it converges with a continental


The irony of all of this is the fact

that not wanting attention

made you the centre of attention

and if you found out that this poem was about you

you’d probably start freaking out

but only on the inside

because on the outside you’re like the night sky

cool, dark, mysterious

and painted over with a stroke of black

so that the remnants that you leave behind

always get left unseen



your laugh



your smile



your eyes

and how they always reminded me of liquid amber



sometimes, when the teacher is talking

you’d close your eyes

quietly tapping your pencil to the corner of your desk

to a mixtape that only you could hear

I only know this because I’d often look in your direction

pretending to be checking for the time

but all the while I had been memorizing you

and your features

and the way you furrowed your eyebrows when you got stuck on a question

you didn’t have the answer to


It’s funny

because in math class

the only question that I can’t ever seem to solve

is you

because there is no formula to calculate

how I could possibly close the distance between us

or how I could possibly start a conversation

without freaking you out too much



I like you



I mean what



What I had meant to say was that

I liked you



human being



but if you texted me at three in the morning

just to say hey

I’d probably reply right away

with an excited hey

exclamation point exclamation point

because right now

I’m still lying here awake

and it’s already two

and the only thing that I’m thinking about

is you

and only you

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