Conjured Love

My heart kept up with the rhythm of the waltz

Ba-dum ba-dum ba-dum

 

Each step a twirl

Each lingering gaze an invitation

 

I felt a hollow thump in my chest

A reminder

 

My smile was strained

My words were forced

 

There was a steady pounding in my head

Find him find him find him

 

Nothing more I wanted

Nothing more I thought of

 

I let the music sweep me away into the night

Dancing with a faceless stranger

 

Glittering rays of sunlight on the floor

Glittering ice in my heart

 

I longed to depart from this wretched place

But not yet

 

Not now

Not ever

 

There was nothing worse than admitting a weakness

A vulnerability

 

I wanted to leave

I wanted to see him

 

Again the noise resonated in my mind

Soon, very soon

 

But soon was not soon enough

And I was growing restless

 

It was at this time that I became desperate

Aching to give up my ridiculous façade

 

Nothing more to give

Nothing more to care about

 

The next stranger puts his arm around my waist

I startle at the touch

 

He does not notice

He does not exist

 

I am floating on a cloud of memories

Each one wrecking me

 

I let it carry me away

I let it control me

 

Everything I wanted was gone

All the stars out of reach

 

Absence does make the heart grow fonder

But I have long since broken mine

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