The Shackles of Grief

It always starts with the tears

When you feel your eyes water

And your throat tightens

You know that it’s inevitable


All of a sudden

You’re sitting there

Tears rolling down your face in rivulets



And your chest aches

Your heart aches

All you want to do is






But it’s there

So you shrug your shoulders

Wipe your tears

And you try not to feel like you’ve lost something

Try not to feel like you’re lost


Your nose is stuffed

Your eyes are red

Your inhales are more like sniffles

And your mind is full of nothing 


Nothing but the memories

Nothing but the jokes you used to make


N o t h i n g

Because you can’t say those things anymore

You can’t make those jokes anymore because

It hurts 


You try to pretend like it doesn’t bother you

That, no

You’re fine 

But you’re not

You try to be but you’re not


And the worst part is

Nobody notices

Because you’re crying in the bathroom

You’re crying when nobody’s around

You’re crying all by yourself



You have to be fine

You’re saying it’s fine

And you have to be what you say you are

Otherwise you’re lying to everyone

Including yourself


But then you realize

It’s okay to not be fine

It’s okay to be sad

It’s okay to feel like you’re choking on your tears

It’s okay to feel like the words you never got the chance to say were said


It’s okay 

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